Helen Morganstein and her daughter Lilian were having lunch in a South Beach restaurant on February 8th. Whilst sitting at their sidewalk table enjoying their meals and the south Florida weather, a couple -French tourists-were at the next table were smoking up a storm (as is their norm). Lilian Morganstein is a non smoker and by law of nature the smoke naturally flowed her way.
Reportedly Ms. Lilian asked the 'foreigners' to extinguish the offensive source and "those Frenchies refused saying we thought this was a free country and laughed at me she said. I was so offended given how we bailed the cowards out in WW2, I couldn't believe me ears. I ordered a large order of fries and had them delivered to the renchies as symbol of our freedom no thanks to them."
The manager of the restaurant later reported to the police that Lilian Morganstein put her fingers down her throat and vomited all over the French table on her way out splattering those sitting around it. When questioned by the police Lilian said that it was not intentional and that their smoking had made her sick and in fact she was the true victim. The French tourists refused to press charges and the manager comped their meal. Later Ms. Lilian complained that it was just another example of the French getting a free lunch off the generosity of their liberators.
Mark Stevens is a satirical columnist who contributes to Slackerheaven.com on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional.
